Welcome to SpiritHeart’s Coaching for
"Essential Well-BE-ing" in Relationship
What is Coaching for Essential "Well-BE-ing" (CEWB) in Relationship?
“Every relationship, from casual to intimate, can help us grow, mature
and become more conscious. An emotionally and spiritually mature
relationship enhances your ability to understand your self and your
partner; a willingness to understand another is a sign of mature love.”
Coaching for "Essential Well-BE-ing" in Relationship is an in-depth exploration of the different facets of the intra-personal and inter-personal dynamics of partnering. This process utilizes the intelligence of your mind, body, emotions and spirit and the inner guidance of your heart to bring love and wisdom to your interactions and to the choices you make about the relationships in your life. Most importantly, CEWB will give you a strong foundation for bringing both awareness and skillful means to the challenges and issues that arise in partnership, whether you are in a casual relationship, a committed and exclusive relationship or in an upcoming marriage. It is our goal to support partnerships as a rich and fertile ground for experiencing mutual growth, fulfillment and joy.
In particular, our work focuses on your ability to partner both with your self and with others — exploring your capacity for self-awareness and autonomy as well as your capacity for mutuality and cooperation. The foundation for growing a healthy, life affirming partnership with another begins with a deep and honest exploration of what you know about your self as well as what you know about intimacy in human relationships. This work is about growing a mindful awareness of loving relationship as it manifests in you and with others.
“Do I have to give me up to be loved by you?”
The answer is "No!”
Partners who have an intimate awareness of themselves and each other:
- are better prepared to meet the challenges and conflicts that arise in relationship and use these challenges as opportunities for growth
- are better able to access their inner heart- and soul-felt qualities of compassion, curiosity and inner peace that support relating to one another in a healthy way
- communicate in ways that are clear, constructive and compassionate
- are able to work to eliminate self-defeating ego patterns of controlling, enabling, deferring, accommodating or being dysfunctional and co-dependent or conversely, spiritually, emotionally and/or physically distant
- are more adept at recognizing and evaluating where they are and where their partner is, emotionally, while being able to be in the present moment
- are skilled at hearing beneath the words spoken in an immature or clumsy communication
- are willing to be accountable and self-responsible for their thoughts, feelings and actions
Historically, most relationships are unconsciously configured around deep-seated issues arising as a result of a person’s developmental process and connection with their family of origin. Most often, a person is looking for what s/he didn’t get in her family and hence seeks to fill this feeling of lack or emptiness by entering into a relationship. So, feeling unlovable, a person seeks affirmation, acceptance and recognition from the other. Or s/he wants to duplicate a way that s/he felt cared for and made special within the family and now wants the other to provide this affirmation and caring. It is important to note that “being cared for and made special” can also lead to dysfunctional behaviors and negative attention.
“Relationship offers us the opportunity to discover more of our self.
Relationship can be a vehicle within which we set our intention to
actualize ourselves and unfold our True Nature.”
The purpose of CEWB in Relationship is not to fill the gaps of what’s “missing” in your relationships, although you may gain insights and understanding of what might be involved in relationship challenges you face, but to gain a greater insight of relationship in a larger context — as a highly spiritual, deeply contactful, authentic, conscious, honest and truly heart- and soul-felt connection which leads to fulfillment, self-expression and dynamic aliveness for each participant and supports the foundation of well-being for the partners.
CEWB in Relationship focuses on creating meaningful change and experiencing genuine transformation in your ability to partner with your self and others with the result of deepening your capacity to love well — bringing heart-felt intelligence, clarity, and compassion — as you participate in human interactions. Rooted in the foundations of core values, love and respect of self and other as you seek to either meet a partner or work with a current partner, you will explore the following questions to determine what capacities you bring to partnering:
- What is your capacity for friendship, affection, compassion, care, acceptance, attunement, mutuality and self-responsibility?
- What is your capacity for intimacy, contact, openness, authenticity, sincerity and presence?
- What values are important to you personally and which values are necessary to share within the context of the relationship?
- What does commitment mean to you?
- How well do you deal with your own negativity when it arises?
- How well do you deal with your partner’s negativity when it arises?
Negativity is a natural part of any relationship. There’ll be upsets, misunderstandings and frustrations. When there are two people, there will be things that don’t fit, that don’t always work out. The more able you are to consciously meet your upsets and frustrations, the more genuine love and sweetness will be present so real and true passion can arise.
The CEWB in Relationship process is directed toward emotional and spiritual development, growth and maturation as a foundational and genuine support for you and for your ability to engage in a healthy fulfilling partnership. In seeking to understand your self and the other, relationship is the fertile ground where you can gain a deeper mutual understanding as you seek to uncover the real underlying issues that arise when you truly engage in the movement and the work of partnering with another. This is the work that supports the fruits of an abiding love and profound friendship.
Who Needs It?
Individuals and couples who are curious about exploring and answering the following questions:
- How am I in relationship with my self?
- How am I in relationship with others?
- How do I relate with my partner?
- What level of understanding do I bring to relationship?
- How truthful am I in my relationship?
- What expectations do I hold about relationship?
- How can I discern the truth in my relationship?
- How authentic am I in my relationship?
- How do my childhood developmental issues play out in my relationship?
- What level of skill do I bring to my communications?
- How responsible am I for my thoughts, feelings and actions?
- Am I able to ask for what I want?
- Do I blame, criticize or judge my partner (spoken or unspoken)?
- How do I deal with my own negativity and my partner’s negativity?
- What is an effective relationship?
- What helps to build an effective relationship?
- What gets in the way of creating and maintaining effective relationships?
- What are the tools that foster effective relationships?
- What are the qualities that support abiding love and deep friendship?
Additionally, you will explore the most common obstacles to a healthy relationship:
- Lack of a passionate, initial connection
- Inability to prioritize the health of the relationship
- Inability to deal with emotions
- Inability to listen with your heart
- Inability to make peace and restore trust
- Seemingly irreconcilable points of conflict
- Undiscovered life purpose (or values) for one or both partners
- Emotional or financial dependencies
- Unwillingness to proactively embrace healing and education for the relationship
- Inability or unwillingness to honor agreements
Why Do It?
- To cultivate personal love and compassion for your self and for others
- To access your capacity to interact with others in an honest and satisfying way
- To grow comfortable with uncomfortable emotions
- To see into “blind spots”
- To live in the present moment and free your self from childhood patterns
- To discern what is true for you
- To activate your power, strength, resilience and will for commitment
- To have greater freedom to be your True and Real Self with another
- To bring awareness to limiting self-images, beliefs and perspectives about partnering
- To respond rather than react to challenges, upsets and misunderstandings
- To relax into your Self by allowing your “being” to express itself
- To have a greater experience of trust in your self, your partner and in life
- To experience real fulfillment — with your self and with another
- To remove the masks you wear and lift the veils you put on to hide your True and Real Self
- To discover the joy of growing an abiding love and profound friendship
What Are the Benefits?
CEWB in Relationship results in:
- Accessing your Wisdom Body and your Inner Guidance that leads to Right Knowing, Right Action and Right Understanding in your relationships
- Living from your heart — balancing and managing your individual need for autonomy as well as embodying the spirit of cooperation for the well-being of the partnership
- Learning to trust the truth in your self, your partner and the relationship
- Communicating in ways that are clear, constructive and compassionate
- Being aware of your own and/or your partner’s negativity and calling for a time out
- Bringing your emotions into balance and alignment with your inner heart and spirit and experiencing greater positivity and attitudes that support personal and joint effectiveness
- Having greater insight and creativity in meeting challenges with mutual care
- Learning to embrace your humanness with love and compassion, recognizing a mutual vulnerability
- Focusing on the love, respect and positivity already present
- Developing an ability to live in the present, in the now
- Having the freedom to allow your True and Real Self — to live without "masks" and "false personalities" in partnership with another
- Eliminating the effects of limiting self-images, beliefs, preconceptions, and perspectives about how relationships “should be” that get in the way of allowing your real relationship to grow
- Experiencing a heightened sense of well-being, fulfillment, happiness, inner peace, and joy with your self and with another
- Having a greater capacity for joy, fulfillment and abiding love
- Living as a fully integrated person — in mind, body, emotions and spirit as you partner with another
- Mutual positivity and dynamic support — the foundation for thriving and growth
- Dealing more effectively with the Inner Judge and Critic — both your own and your partner’s
- Cultivating the ability to meet the "holes of lack and deficiency" and stay with your own feelings of discomfort rather than looking to your partner for a false “filling up” and support
- Deriving greater satisfaction from your relationship and your shared life
- Cultivating the skills for grounded and heartful communication and the ability to speak truthfully without attacking, blaming, judging or shaming
- Being aware of what takes you away from your True and Real Self and accessing the practices to return to a place of integrity and authenticity both with your self and with your partner
- Growing your own SpiritHeart and "Essential Well-BE-ing" as the foundation for your life and your relationship
Integrative Practices include:
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How we do it
Coaching for "Essential Well-BE-ing" for your Relationship is offered as a multi-session series. Respecting the depth and scope of the work, sessions are scheduled once a week, with focused readings and exercises to be done individually, and with one another, at home between sessions. Each coaching session is 90 minutes.
The process itself and the practices support the partners to create new positive habits and ways of ‘be-ing’ and ‘do-ing’ in relationship, and to internalize the tools that foster the evolutionary changes that lead to genuine, meaningful, open, honest and conscious relationships. The process supports you to explore, discover, practice and allow the organic emergence of your True Self to arise in relationship. This coaching series is available via telephone (EST, if living outside of Atlanta or abroad) or at my office (in Atlanta). Customized formats can also be arranged.
For further information please contact Peter or call 770.804.9125
About your Coach – Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D., C.P.C.
Peter (See Meet Peter) is Founding Partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company dedicated to “Essential Well-BE-ing” for body, mind and spirit . (More about SpiritHeart and Essential Well-BE-ing)
As the Founder of Coaching for "Essential Well-BE-ing," Peter is committed to facilitating people to have greater balance, harmony and peace in their personal and professional lives.
Peter believes a life guided by integration of the intelligence of one’s heart, the wisdom of one’s mind and the health of one’s body leads to true and real wholeness and well-being and the ability to live a genuinely “fulfilling" and “meaningful” life.
With 25 years of experience in consulting, training, facilitating and university teaching, Peter utilizes his expertise in personal development, motivation, psychodynamics, and mind-body-spirit integrative approaches to support people to discover and fulfill their heart’s desires and Life Purpose, and to create the results they want in their lives based on who they really are and their core values.
Peter is a member of the International Coaching Federation, Coachville and The Relationship Coaching Institute. He is also a motivational speaker and published author.
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