A Community of Men

For the many years I've been coaching men — single men, men in relationship, divorced and separated men, happy men, not-so-happy men, successful men and not-so-successful men, men with a vision and men without a vision, there's been one notable area that consistently arises during the coaching process, namely, how men feel about themselves at home, at work, and at play — i.e., men's relationships with their own feelings — their perceptions and feelings about themselves, who they are and how they are in relationship with other men, and with the women in their lives.

The purpose of this Community of Men Circle is a personal growth series of experiential sessions (we are exploring and discovering, not being lectured to) designed to support and help one another in learning new ways to be — socially, personally, and professionally in our relationships. This group is an opportunity to explore this type of relationship in an emotionally safe, supportive, and trusting environment where we can nurture and support one another.

In this group, we share our thoughts, beliefs, feelings and our own self-images around what it means to be a professional, a husband, a father, a partner, a son, a friend. We share our experiences about being courageous, about being strong, about being afraid, vulnerable, and being authentic in our everyday experiences at work, at home and at play.

The Community of Men Circle is a support group where we learn how to feel good together and often support one another and broaden our capacities to meet our day-to-day challenges; it’s also a self-help group where we learn how to more effectively navigate our challenges through one another's willing assistance to listen, to understand and to empathize.

The Community of Men Circle is not about lecturing, telling, teaching, educating, training, one-upping, shutting down, interrogating, correcting, or “fixing” anyone else. In other words, we check our egos at the door. (And, by the way, we also leave our shoes there upon entering.)

The Community of Men Circle is not a social "get-together"; rather, each group session is an experiential personal growth experience, including goals and exercises that require us to stretch in some way, shape or form.

The Community of Men Circle experience is designed so that each man will get exactly what he needs as he needs it; the process will support each of us to grow closer to our own individual sense of self and to the essence of who we are.

The Community of Men Circle is NOT therapy. There is no diagnosing or prescribing. There is no focus on "pathologies." We work in the present and the future — moving forward in creating the lives we want to experience with authenticity and in integrity; we don’t dwell on childhood "issues."

The Community of Men Circle uses a coaching process — questions, discussions, silence, self-reflections, journaling and additional exercises to support each one to raise his level of awareness about himself — how he is and who he is in his life in his world at work, at home and at play.

No one is ever forced or expected to share, engage, or participate during a meeting if they feel they do not want to. We are not here to "fix" anyone else. Each man is completely focused on his own experience; there's no judging of another and no telling another what to do or how to be. The process is based on mutual respect, understanding, compassion, trust and acceptance.

he principle of "First seek to understand before being understood." is paramount. It's about supporting others and allowing others to be just as they are. The principle of "What I think, is true for me." is also paramount. We don’t proselytize, we don’t tell someone he is "wrong"; this is not about making someone else see the world the way “I see it.” Judgments and criticisms of another man are inappropriate and unacceptable. Again, we check "egos" at the door.

Each meeting begins with an initial breath work and stretching exercise, to help us focus and be present for the evening, followed by a “teaching”, and then exercises done either individually, in twos or threes, or as a single group, sharing and self-reporting, a comment and question period and silent self-reflection. Each man chooses a goal or stretch he will pursue between sessions. Other ground rules and formats will be introduced at the first meeting.

What some participants have to share:

For more than a year now, I have been attending a men's group hosted and lead by Dr. Peter Vajda. These meetings have become so important to me that I have made certain not to miss a single meeting. These meetings have helped me re-charge and re-focus. I leave the meetings on a high, and I think I better perceive how I now show up for other people. From these meetings I have come to better appreciate other men and this appreciation has helped me better understand my role in my own life. These meetings have become a highlight of my month.

— Dan W.

About a year ago Peter Vajda asked me if I was interested in joining a group that would involve men getting together to explore personal, emotional and experiential issues not normally discussed or even recognized by most men. The last year+ of meetings have been challenging and occasionally uncomfortable but always extraordinarily rewarding. Dr. Vajda is an outstanding facilitator; he is both a guide and a participant in a journey that continues to expand all of our horizons. I highly recommend this group to any man interested in and committed to internal growth and learning.

— Marcus W.

Being involved with this Men’s group has given me time for reflection of who I am, how I perceive others and how I act around others and why. I have explored and used tools and techniques that support me to be more open with others as well as being more open and honest with myself.

— Scott B.

I joined Dr. Vajda’s Community of Men’s group about a year ago. Not knowing what to expect, I decided to attend, motivated primarily by curiosity and an interest in what would be involved in joining such a group. In the time since that initial decision to attend, the meetings have become an important and meaningful part of my personal growth. Through involvement in the group I have found a trusting and supportive environment that has helped me stretch my limits and challenge myself to explore who I am. I feel the opportunity to explore issues that are often not discussed among men has enabled my personal growth and self-reflection. The experiences I have shared with the other men in the group have become an important step in my personal journey.

— Don H.

Following some coaching work with Dr. Peter Vajda nearly two years ago, Peter invited me to join a men’s group he was forming. Although a bit tentative at first, I chose to accept the invitation and have never looked back. The monthly meetings we participate in have become a very valuable part of my life and help me to maintain balance and to grow on many fronts. I find it to be an excellent reinforcement for many of the techniques that Peter uses in his coaching. Early on in my coaching process, I asked Peter if he had any programs for maintenance following the rather intensive coaching work. This group meets that bill for me. I highly recommend these groups led by Peter to any man who is committed to personal growth.

— Charles W.

For further information, please contact Peter or 770.804.9125.

About your Group Leader — Peter G. Vajda, Ph.D., C.P.C.

Peter (See Meet Peter) is Founding Partner of SpiritHeart, an Atlanta-based company dedicated to “Essential Well-BE-ing” for body, mind and spirit. (More about SpiritHeart and Essential Well-BE-ing)

As the Founder of Coaching for Essential Well-BE-ing , Peter is committed to facilitating people to have greater balance, harmony and peace in their personal and professional lives.

Peter believes a life guided by integration of the intelligence of one’s heart, the wisdom of one’s mind and the health of one’s body leads to true and real wholeness and well-being and the ability to live a genuinely “fulfilling" and “meaningful” life.

With 25 years of experience in consulting, training, facilitating and university teaching, Peter utilizes his expertise in personal development, motivation, psychodynamics, and mind-body-spirit integrative approaches to support people to discover and fulfill their heart’s desires and Life Purpose, and to create the results they want in their lives based on who they really are and their core values.

Peter is a member of the International Coaching Federation, Coachville and The Relationship Coaching Institute. He is also a motivational speaker and published author.

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